My truth about psychotropic “medication”

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Since being labeled with clinical depression and borderline personality disorder at the age of thirty-one, after years in active addiction to a mixed and varied array of narcotics and alcohol, “More” having been my drug of chance, I have been taking the anti depressant Effexor. Actually, as of March 2016, had is a more accurate description of my relationship with the anti depressant, as I finally made the decision to stop taking it, having reached the same decision about the lithium I had been taking, since the more recent label of bi-polar was applied to me. Without doubt, these two decisions are among the best I have ever made. One because I made them of my own free will and second, because they freed me from the slavery and consequences that all too often come hand in hand with taking psychotropic drugs/prescribed “medication”.

For the purposes of clarity, I am not in any way suggesting that anyone else take the same steps as me and stop taking their “medication”, even though in my humble opinion that could be among the best things anyone could do for themselves, as I am not qualified to give such advice and take full responsibility for my choices/decisions.

Based on thirteen years personal experience, I can however assert that in my opinion, when prescribing psychotropic drugs, drs are effectively playing with a loaded gun, as they simply do not know how each individual will react to each drug. The consultant whom first prescribed lithium to me, could not possibly have known that within three months I would have become a complete reclusive, unable to hold an intelligible conversation and would be too terrified to set outside my own front door for the next eighteen months. They did not know that my lithium levels would fluctuate wildly and inexplicably, or that as a direct result of taking the drug and with it’s aide, I would make three separate attempts to end my life. In fact on a number of occasions, I have taken enough psychotropic and/or street drugs to kill an elephant, yet somehow I am inexplicably still alive.

Now “medication” free, I firmly believe that we have created a need that the pharmaceutical industry is neither sufficiently qualified nor experienced to meet, but only too happy to provide their vast array of “medications” to those among us willing to take them. They have provided the training for their army of “experts” (drs), who are frequently and continually bombarded by another army from the pharmaceutical industry, their sales reps, to sell them the “benefits” of the latest drugs, as well as having created a catalogue of “health conditions”, from anxiety “disorders”, to depression, bipolar related disorders, schizophrenic disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders and dementia, that conveniently match their equally extensive catalogue of drugs.

Even though psychiatrists freely admit that they cannot reasonably predict the reaction an individual will have to any prescribed drug, according to the council for evidence based psychiatry, more than 57million prescriptions for anti depressants were issued in England in 2014, representing a 7.5% increase on 2013 and more than 500% since 1992. 10.5m prescriptions for drugs used to treat psychosis were issued in the same period and prescriptions for stimulants, typically used to treat children with “hyperactivity disorders” also so an 8% increase to almost 1.2m prescriptions. In total, around 85 million prescriptions were issued for psychotropic drugs in 2014 in England alone. That should give us particular cause for concern, as “according to a study that is being referred to as one of the most comprehensive comparisons of commonly prescribed antidepressants so far, most of these drugs are ineffective and some might even be unsafe for children and teens who are suffering from major depression”.

In a piece of research first published by the Kings Fund in 2008, it was estimated that the annual cost will see an increase of 11% from £22.5 billion per annum, to £47.5 billion by 2026, with a negligible 0.2% decrease in the percentage of the population that will be diagnosed with a mental “disorder”. The research also predicts that the cost of lost employment will rise by 7.7% from £26.1 billion to £28.1 billion. Surely all of this this begs the question why we are spending so much money on psychiatric “services”, if they are predicted to have a negligible effect on the wealth and wellbeing of the nation?

I believe that at the root cause of the demand for psychotropic drugs and it’s increased provision, as evidenced above, is a dis-ease that has been created and it is the dis-ease of being unconscious to our true worth. Through capitalism, society is constantly bombarding us with messages that we are not good enough. The advertising agency is constantly re-minding us of the perceived “need” for the latest gadget, the alleged “benefits” of the latest new diet, how much sexier/happier/better we will feel and how much better our lives would be if only we wore the latest perfume from x, y, or z designer, owned the latest television set, mp3 player, apple product, designer shoes, bigger house, more comfortable furniture, faster car…………………….the list is never ending.

We live in a society where we are constantly being bombarded with messages that tell us we are not good enough, so little wonder that is how we sometimes feel. As with every-thing in life however, we always have a choice. We can choose to listen to the constant subtle messages from our television sets, continue reading the magazines with photographs and articles that re-mind us we are not good enough and we can continue to chase the never ending “need” for more that is designed and facilitated by capitalism.

Personally, I chose to stop taking the prescribed drugs,  sold my tele-vision set, stopped buying the magazines, now ignore the posters/billboards, stopped poisoning my body with “magic creams” and food that has no nutritional value, read articles from people and websites such as:  Dr Aseem Malhotra, Dr NA Mazhar, Dr Lissa Rankin, Jon Barron, Dr Kelly Brogan, Magnus Mulliner,  natural news, health freedoms, the alliance for natural health and decided to take more personal responsibility for my own wellbeing and to date, the results speak for themselves. I have more energy, am no longer too terrified to walk outside my own front door, am grateful for and enjoy life, have a wide and varied variety of interests and developed a new skill for writing.

A moment of clarity

I am not what happened to me quote

For most of my life, I have allowed my ego to determine whom and what I am. With apparently very good cause and justification, I took on the role of the victim a lot of the time. Having grown up in Northern Ireland in the 1970’s 80’s & 90’s, seen a lot of things I believe no conscious being should ever have to witness, experienced childhood abuse, a lot of school ground bullying and have been constantly criticised by my family of origin since I can remember, I believed I had earned my “right” to blame the victim card and assert my demands on society, that I be compensated for those experiences.

For years, I tried to escape everything that had happened through alcohol and drug addiction, but the relief gained was only ever temporary and eventually the consequences no longer justified the temporary gains, so on 26th August 2002 I made a conscious decision not to put another alcoholic drink or drug into my body and by the will of something more powerful and worthy than I believed myself to be at the time, I have remained free of street drugs and alcohol ever since. At the age of sixteen I made the first of many attempts to take my own life, believing all the messages I had been given since forever about being “as useless as tits on a boar”, “will never amount to anything”, “do not have two brain cells to rub together”and all the other equally vile and I now know untrue messages about myself that I was given.

When I got clean from the narcotics and alcohol, I believed the messages that the so called professionals were giving me about having a psychiatric illness and willingly accepted the “medications” they offered, none of which ever made me feel any better about myself and on many occasions, were part of the lethal cocktail of drugs I took on the many times I had decided that life was no longer worth living. Through many years of on/off psychotherapy, I began to build some confidence and belief in myself and eventually came to realise that NONE of the messages I had been given, nor the experiences I had had defined me and who I truly am, let alone having any form of relationship or resemblance with truth. Yet it was only when I decided to stop relying on others to take care of me and define who I am, when I decided to take responsibility for me that I came to know who I truly am and it was not any of the experiences I have had in life, all of which had happened a long time ago and it was only me that was continuing to re-create them in my own reality.

I now know that at a higher level of consciousness, I choose all of the experiences I was to have in this lifetime before even coming into this body, so therefore I cannot possibly be a victim, despite what my ego keeps telling me. I choose the individual members of my family of origin, to grow up in a war torn province and to have the experiences that I have lived so that I may come to know who I truly am. Therefore it is irrational of me to curse and condemn those who provided the experiences I had chosen at a higher level of consciousness before coming into this body. All of those who came into my path gave me exactly what I had chosen, therefore there is nothing to forgive. In fact, I love , bless and thank them for all that they have taught me about who I truly am, a spiritual being, creating a human experience and when I don’t like what I am experiencing, I am ALWAYS free to create something else.

So rather than get angry, ( which only ever hurts myself) criticise, judge or condemn any of those whom have brought me my life experiences, I bless them and say thank you for all that you have taught me. I am someone who does not believe in violence, so in childhood, I had the experience of violence so that I may reaffirm my belief. I am someone who believes I do not have the right to judge and criticise others, therefore on my life path, I have had the experience of others judging and criticising me, in order to reaffirm my belief. I do not believe in psychiatric medicine, therefore I have had the experience of taking it, in order to reaffirm my belief. I believe that my body is a temple and I alone am responsible for what I put in it, therefore I have had the experience of putting unhelpful substances into my body in order to reaffirm my belief.

Although for many years I have tried to be, I now realise that I am not the life experiences I have created, but rather a divine being, who choose and created those experiences at a higher level of consciousness, so that I may know who I truly am and that I believe, is the purpose of all of life.

Rather than fight against what you do not believe in, as a very wise man whom achieved what once must have seemed impossible said: “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Gandhi